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The Things I Choose To Tell You


You know the brillance written by  Tim O'Brien titled "The Things They Carried?"

If you don't, how can you call yourself my friend?

Go read it. (and if you don't, I guess we can still be friends. My husband hasn't read it either.)

This blog post is: The Things I Choose To Tell You.

It won't be nearly as good as anything by Tim O'Brien.


I grew up in Upland, CA.
I would play mermaids in the pool for hours. My best friend's Mom called me "Dolphin Baby" because I wouldn't leave the water.

When I was in 3rd grade I started reading short stories about the Great Depression.

My dad hammered slats of wood into my favorite tree to enable me to climb higher to read. I was furious with him because I was convinced the sap was the tree crying in pain.

I never had a lot of friends but always had a lot of people who wanted to copy my homework.

Contrary to my brother-in-laws' convictions, I never cheated at Monopoly. We would play when I was 9 and they were in their mid 20s. I would win.

I will always win a board game if I want to win. I no longer always want to win. People get mad, and I hate when people are mad at me.

Until I was 14 I was convinced that crows were not to be trusted because they would attack my head and eat my eyes if I let them. I am convinced my father told me this. He denies it.

I got sick of high school early and decided to quit after my junior year. To make this socially acceptable, I found a college that would let me in without graduating high school. My mommy made me finish high school online on top of my college studies. I graduated with my high school class... when I was halfway thru my sophomore year of college.

I opted not to fly down to walk for graduation. Mostly because I ended up falling in love with a quirky, sweet guy.

And, 7 years later, not much had changed, except his lack of hair.

(He still makes weird faces when you pull out a camera.)

I told Indy that he's lucky to have such a great Dad.

He replied, "Why, because he pinches and sits on me?"

Precisely son.

I once slept in that. With my kids, and my dog, who made herself at home on my friends face.

So I did what any logical person would do, I went and stayed at a friend's uncles' grandpa's (??) house that I had the garage code to.

I love Luna Lovegood. I sewed a dress to look like her.
Kind of like the time a year before that when there was lightning storms and a tarantula and sleeping pads were floating in tents like little boats and we found a friends spare key and made ourselves at home.

Even though we couldn't get a hold of our friend.

Actually, every time we've gone to St. George to camp we've ended up crashing at someone's house. Moral: don't tell me where your spare key is in St. George. Actually, you can tell me. I won't remember how to get there or where the key is hidden anyways. My memory is temperamental.

But keep in mind texts and emails are forever.

This is me ice-fishing while pregnant.

We went fishing a lot during my pregnancies, to get me outside... since I was so sick I couldn't do much else.

Neither Ben nor I know how to fish.

We never caught anything.


I used to rock climb.

Once I almost died.

Once we pummeled a rock the size of a piano off a ledge to set up the route in this picture. It made a huge gash in the road. It was the same place where a friend stepped on a rattle snake.

I've panic attacks on lead twice.

I am more afraid of that intensity of fear than what caused the fear.


One day my family sold everything and moved into our van. I got to spend a lot of time with these boys.

Despite my best intentions, I still can't play a tune on the harmonica. But I play it hiking anyway.

During our trip, Ben and I would put the kids to bed and make my awesome kettle corn recipe and invite other nearby campers to come to our fire and hang out and eat popcorn.

We spent a couple weeks in Joshua Tree with an older guy from Canada who wanted gas prices to go up and who my kids thought of as a Grandpa. He loved my popcorn.


I never tried cream cheese until after I had my first baby. Or sushi, cottage cheese, mangos, or guacamole.

I was once vegan, until my hair started falling out in clumps.

Then I started eating canned tuna. Then I dyed my hair black. That was a terrible idea.

I often have terrible ideas.

We lived in Colorado, in an apartment above the garage on a beautiful mansion which was situated on 35 acres and surrounded by BLM land.

It was really just nice views with knee-deep mud.

That's where I started trail running.

My little heartbreaker at Indian Creek.





I've never smoked marijuana, but have been exposed to it continually. Climbers smoke a lot.

I only ditched high school once. Then I went to college, and would ditch for a week at a time.

I hate picking favorite colors. I like grey. I hate when it's spelled gray. The book, 50 Shades of Grey, although they spell grey correctly, is terrible. Anything written as Twilight fan fiction should be a big indicator of a waste of time.

I won't remember books until I've read them multiple times.

I love the short story The Yellow Wallpaper. If I was the narrator, I wouldn't get lost.



If you get bored on a long run, ask me what I've thrown in rivers.

And who I've rescued from lakes.

And memories I've stolen.

If you hang out with me enough, you will be on the receiving end of a lot of baked goods. I stress bake, hunger bake, and boredom bake.

Too bad I don't bake when I'm angry. I just run.

I run a lot faster when I'm angry. So I sometimes try to make myself angry for speed work.

It doesn't work.

In college I was told by a philosophy teacher that we couldn't make ourselves pee our pants.

He's wrong.

I love canyoneering and I despise Aron Ralston. But Blue John Canyon is fantasmic.

I have nightmares that are more terrible than the worst horror films. I think this contributes to why I can't watch violence. My younger son gets the same types of nightmares. Poor guy.

Bison are my favorite animals.
They are wild and free.

Comments

  1. And that's only the tip of the iceberg...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um, hello... how did I not know half of this stuff?? And how the HECK do we have so many similarities that I didn't even know about?! Btw, did you fall in love with The Yellow Wallpaper during our English class? Me too. :) You're right, we need to move to SLC. Or you need to move here. Just so that we're neighbors again and can hang out and eat popcorn and play board games (Killer Bunnies?) and laugh at our terrible ideas together. And run. Lots of running. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jenn.... i really enjoyed reading this! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I sure do love to read. And write. And run.
    Once you move to civilization we'll have you guys over for dinner. Your boys will love our all-boy home. Toys and video games for days.

    ReplyDelete

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