Race Report: the things I should say

“so pleased with my race”

4:30 in the morning?

You know it’s supposed to rain tomorrow, right?

Aw, hell, we got a 100 coming up. I’ll be there.

Think we have time for 15 miles?

“it all just came together”

Please God, heal my legs.

I know I have such a rich life

blessed with family and friends and

moments, oh! So many moments worth

lifetimes. I’m undeserving to ask this

but please, please, God. Please

heal these injured legs

so they can run,

so I can be free again.

Please God.

“what a great day on the trails with friends”

It’s ok, you can wait in my car

you don’t need to talk to anyone and

it’s not time to line up yet.

Just put the headphones on and listen to music,

it’s ok. Just hide in my car

a little longer.

“race organization went smoothly”

Take this Tylenol.

Now.

Oh ok, in 4 miles at the aid station.

But you have to promise to eat then too.

No, it’s not time for a walking break.

You’re strong. Look at you,

moving like you only ran 20 miles!

You’re ahead of schedule.

Always,

always, ahead.

“so appreciative that I could have this experience”

This is a gift body!

A gift! Be grateful that we’re doing this—

act like it!

Oh, I see…

Not a gift from me to my body

but a gift from my body to me.

You’re so smart body!

Oh, and you’re blurry.

Ha! Look! I’m running,

and I didn’t even know it.

“a lot of talent and speed out running today”

Text my family, let them know

I’m an hour out.

Don’t make it sound like I want

to see them.

I don’t want them to feel guilty

for not coming.

I just want them to know

I can do this.

But I can’t speak!

There are no words

for the salt crusted into my skin,

damp matted hair against my forehead,

lips chapped into silence.

Exhaustion weighing on eyelids, so heavy,

the swelling of my legs on this cot:

unmoving.

Coy potential winning! She always does,

leaving me with dull ache confused into

gratitude and congratulations.

There are no words to whisper

to reverberate

~~months~~

~~miles~~

~~early alarms~~

~~injuries~~

~~pool running~~

longing,

yes, longing.

Relief.

And fear.

There are no words for a 100 miles.

Comments

that WEIGHTY issue

It's been said to us climbers that what we do is dangerous, and irresponsible. How could we risk our lives like this? And distance trail running, if it compromises our health why do it? How dare we take that time away from our families? And yet, to even make mention about a different lifestyle, one of weight, obesity, and all of the very dangerous and risky components it involves is socially disgraceful, insensitive, and cruel. I bring this up only to show how much weight, in general, is not "ok" to talk about. It's a sensitive subject, even, no, especially, for those of us already at a healthy weight who use our bodies to their fullest daily...

Now, this blog is about running, ain't it? Yep. So while there's a lot of "weight" we could cover in this "weighty" area, we'll just go over one. Running.
Running and weight are intertwined. I'd like to say that this post is primarily for the ladies, because we typically store more weight t…

my children in wilderness; my partners in adventure

kids. it's one subject that everyone seems to avoid in the back-country. I daresay it's even more controversial than bolts/chopping bolts, the purpose of 200 mile slogs, or the benefits/costs of lake powell.

why is it so unpopular? most of us have kids, and we all were kids once. still, most outdoor peeps love a crag dog and will "oooh" and "aah" over an obnoxious pup getting tangled in their gear, but will groan when they see a few kids at a climbing crag. even in utah, other peoples children are generally viewed as distasteful as the little bags of dog poop the poop fairy forgot to come back and pick up off of the trail.

fortunately, kids are nearly as common.

"kid krushers"
"mini me's"
"the backcountry parent"
"badass babes"
"#nochildleftinside"
"free range parenting"
"little training partners"

the titles we use are amusing and endless...

I have two kids. I'm a single mom. I l…

Millwood 100 M "race" report

The most difficult “race reports” to write are the ones that are the most meaningful. With Millwood 100, it is both meaningful and not a real race, so it is twice as hard to capture the experience as words on paper. But I shall try.
First off, what is the Millwood 100 Mile? Millwood is (and yet another) Jared Campbell line in the Wasatch. (More and more my life is becoming a WWJD event… except more of WWJDS—What Would Jared Do Slower.) Millwood highlights the entirety of the Wasatch—along it’s 100 mile route it takes you through several 10,000-11,000+ summits, ridges, lower/over-populated flat trails, beaver ponds, exposed foothills, places where trails no longer exists or bushwacks where the never were trails, scrambles, rarely visited forks and passes, etc. The bad, good, and incredible aspects of the wasatch are all highlighted in Millwood. The vertical gain is somewhere between 40-45,000 ft of ascent… with the same amount of descent. Prior to my Millwood finish there were 3 Millwoo…

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