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Ways to Make Trail Running Awkward: 10 tips

 

  1. Ask a stranger to put something in your vest


It also works to ask them to take something out of your vest. The sweatiest pockets, closest to your back, are the best places to store things, and it is such a pain to have to take your vest off!

Bonus Points: Don’t ask them to put something in your vest... silently hand them the item and turn around. Wait expectantly.




 

  1. Point out the local peaks


Who doesn’t love a geographical lesson while they run?

Bonus Points: lengthy references to local history and geology

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="1000"] let's turn them into a song![/caption]




 

  1. Pee next to the trail


Why bother hiking off the trail? Just stand next to it! Remember to aim away from the trail.

Bonus Points: Keep the conversation going while… you’re going. Extra bonus points if you make eye contact.




 

  1. Have a stranger take your staged running photo


…because #trailfies can just get old. Give them instructions, such as how to frame the shot, how many photos to capture, and what to be sure to include.

Bonus Points: ask them to retake the photos, since none of those are "instagram worthy."

[caption id="attachment_567" align="aligncenter" width="450"]actually, can you take a group #solefie instead? actually, can you take a group #solefie instead?[/caption]




 

  1. Steer the conversation towards Strava


Did you see what Xxxx ran yesterday? Can you believe the segment name of this? Oh, SNAP! A segment is coming up, let’s PR it!

Bonus Points: Talk about what you’re going to name the run for the entire run. Extra points if you name it something with a hashtag.




 

  1. Talk about your race strategy for an upcoming race


…without being asked about it. Use great detail.

Bonus Points: Steer all side conversations BACK to your upcoming race. You weren’t done yet.




 

  1. Two words: Girl Farts


Bonus points: claim it ladies!




 

  1. Analyze the form of runners you don’t know


let the others you see on the trail know if they’re pronating, kicking to the side, or power-hiking inefficiently.

Bonus Points: show them exercises they can do to strengthen their weak areas




9.   Banter about geek specs

Argue about why a 4mm drop is better than a 0mm drop, whether or not waterproof gaiters are necessary, and the best anti-chafe product. Force out controversy... the rule of "doing what works best for you" doesn't apply.

Bonus Points: We all need to be re-involved with the Suunto Ambit vs Garmin Fenix discussion. Again. The Fenix 3 is coming out…




 

  1. Sing, and sing loudly


Off-key and proud. Intersperse heavy breathing and chatter about the weather.

Bonus points: Broadway or Children’s music. Dancing while running, while difficult, is preferred.

[caption id="attachment_568" align="aligncenter" width="1500"]IMG_5216 you can always let the girls do your hair :-)[/caption]

 




What's the most awkward thing you've experienced on the trail?

Comments

  1. Members of the opposite gender defecating on the side of the road. To me, this is a sign of the apocalypse.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Running into a group who's invite to run that morning you declined because of numbers 5, 9, & 10.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have happily been guilty of most of these! :D Great read! I laughed my gaitors off!

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha yes! that would be awkward indeed! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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