Skip to main content

Ways to Make Trail Running Awkward: 10 tips


  1. Ask a stranger to put something in your vest

It also works to ask them to take something out of your vest. The sweatiest pockets, closest to your back, are the best places to store things, and it is such a pain to have to take your vest off!

Bonus Points: Don’t ask them to put something in your vest... silently hand them the item and turn around. Wait expectantly.


  1. Point out the local peaks

Who doesn’t love a geographical lesson while they run?

Bonus Points: lengthy references to local history and geology

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="1000"] let's turn them into a song![/caption]


  1. Pee next to the trail

Why bother hiking off the trail? Just stand next to it! Remember to aim away from the trail.

Bonus Points: Keep the conversation going while… you’re going. Extra bonus points if you make eye contact.


  1. Have a stranger take your staged running photo

…because #trailfies can just get old. Give them instructions, such as how to frame the shot, how many photos to capture, and what to be sure to include.

Bonus Points: ask them to retake the photos, since none of those are "instagram worthy."

[caption id="attachment_567" align="aligncenter" width="450"]actually, can you take a group #solefie instead? actually, can you take a group #solefie instead?[/caption]


  1. Steer the conversation towards Strava

Did you see what Xxxx ran yesterday? Can you believe the segment name of this? Oh, SNAP! A segment is coming up, let’s PR it!

Bonus Points: Talk about what you’re going to name the run for the entire run. Extra points if you name it something with a hashtag.


  1. Talk about your race strategy for an upcoming race

…without being asked about it. Use great detail.

Bonus Points: Steer all side conversations BACK to your upcoming race. You weren’t done yet.


  1. Two words: Girl Farts

Bonus points: claim it ladies!


  1. Analyze the form of runners you don’t know

let the others you see on the trail know if they’re pronating, kicking to the side, or power-hiking inefficiently.

Bonus Points: show them exercises they can do to strengthen their weak areas

9.   Banter about geek specs

Argue about why a 4mm drop is better than a 0mm drop, whether or not waterproof gaiters are necessary, and the best anti-chafe product. Force out controversy... the rule of "doing what works best for you" doesn't apply.

Bonus Points: We all need to be re-involved with the Suunto Ambit vs Garmin Fenix discussion. Again. The Fenix 3 is coming out…


  1. Sing, and sing loudly

Off-key and proud. Intersperse heavy breathing and chatter about the weather.

Bonus points: Broadway or Children’s music. Dancing while running, while difficult, is preferred.

[caption id="attachment_568" align="aligncenter" width="1500"]IMG_5216 you can always let the girls do your hair :-)[/caption]


What's the most awkward thing you've experienced on the trail?


  1. Members of the opposite gender defecating on the side of the road. To me, this is a sign of the apocalypse.

  2. Running into a group who's invite to run that morning you declined because of numbers 5, 9, & 10.

  3. I have happily been guilty of most of these! :D Great read! I laughed my gaitors off!

  4. haha yes! that would be awkward indeed! :-)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

a new year; a wasatch akitu

“Think now history has many cunning passages, contrived corridors, and issues, deceives with whispering ambitions, guides us by vanities. …The tiger springs in the new year. Us he devours.”
another new year startled us today. somewhere between the late night meandering into a warm bed, after the clock already struck a replayed chime marking the change of calendar (for, we can DVR the change of year and play it in every time zone,) and after the morning coffee, sunrise, prayers, or routines—the time has changed, and so have we.
the Wasatch is a flurry, the new recreational pursuits settling into it as the heavy snow settles onto it. it has been a dense year of both snow and increased use of the snow.
although this mountain range sits above a major metropolitan area, it retains pockets of wild refuge still hidden from its’ own mountain refugees. these pockets of frozen time are still filled with change. no man steps into the same Wasatch twice, for it is not the same Wasatch, nor is it the…

that WEIGHTY issue

It's been said to us climbers that what we do is dangerous, and irresponsible. How could we risk our lives like this? And distance trail running, if it compromises our health why do it? How dare we take that time away from our families? And yet, to even make mention about a different lifestyle, one of weight, obesity, and all of the very dangerous and risky components it involves is socially disgraceful, insensitive, and cruel. I bring this up only to show how much weight, in general, is not "ok" to talk about. It's a sensitive subject, even, no, especially, for those of us already at a healthy weight who use our bodies to their fullest daily...

Now, this blog is about running, ain't it? Yep. So while there's a lot of "weight" we could cover in this "weighty" area, we'll just go over one. Running.
Running and weight are intertwined. I'd like to say that this post is primarily for the ladies, because we typically store more weight t…

standhope 60k

it seems like the last few years I've aged, and I've grown. I lost my identity as a runner. if I didn't run frequently, if I wasn't in the mountains, if I wasn't pushing my own limits, what was I? 
I'd retained the identity as a mother, daughter, sibling, friend, student of literature and wilderness. this was a shift - less time, less comments, less messages with the running community that I didn't know well, a deepening of friendships and relationships with those closest to me.
it felt odd, going into standhope. I didn't have goals, I wasn't sure where I was at with running, I wasn't in shape for racing. I had this idealism, that if I raced hard, I could inspire others, not to run, but to pursue life with passion. but, what about when I can't race hard? when life is racing too hard for me to train?
earlier this year my Dad was diagnosed with mantle cell lymphoma. visits to the hunstman increased, my mileage decreased. when looking at anoth…